My Life’s Journey so far

Before COVID hit in 2019 I went to see a Medium who was recommended to me as ‘amazing’. All I can say is she was indeed amazing. I went to see her again recently. Mostly to see if I could get any guidance regarding my current home situation which is terrible. Put it this way, a divorce should have happened before I went to see her the first time.

Again, she was amazing. So many specifics she could not possibly know or guess. My friend also went to see her the same day, straight after me and she got totally different things and messages, all very specific to her.

Essentially the message was that it was OK to just muddle along while the children didn’t notice but now they are. Not my youngest but definitely my eldest, and my middle child is starting to. The biggest worry I have is money. I did not realise I was being backed into a corner financially and now that the marriage has broken down completely I have no knowledge of anything. There is a lesson there to anyone reading this. Either for yourself or someone you know. Even someone just starting out. Women must be able to keep financial independence, savings etc. Do not rely or let your spouse take control, know exactly what is going on. I have a battle ahead to find this out. And it also erodes your sense of being able to end things (if you want to that is), and no one should feel they have to stay because someone else controls the finances. No one should make you feel that way because it isn’t real, it’s not genuine and it is abuse. Whether it is obvious and large, or done in a manner which gives you the impression you have it when in actual fact you do not. I hope this helps someone as if I had been more involved I would be in a better position right now. Also learn to say no and stick to it regarding financial decisions that you are not comfortable or happy with.

If I had done this, instead of allowing him to do everything because I didn’t want to make it seem like I didn’t trust him. I did, at the time, but it gave him complete control and now things have changed I am in a bad situation I am mentally struggling to find a way out of. He turned nasty once he realised I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with him. I am now being punished. Looking back, I see the signs I ignored and explained away or ignored for the sake of keeping the peace. At the time, I thought I was just compromising or being a good wife.

I no longer want to be a wife, and am not sure I ever want to be again.