My Life’s Journey so far

I have covered the fact that I am in a very unhappy marriage, which has been dead for years and really needs to just be official already.

However, my feelings are in flux tonight, not because of anything to do with my marriage but because I have feelings for someone else. He is a really wonderful person and we get along very well. He seems to have a soft spot for me, and has said and done things which make me think he returns my feelings, although nothing concrete has been said.

Problem is, he is married. Because of this, I will not say anything about how I feel or behave inappropriately in any way whatsoever. If there is any interest he will have to tell me. I am loathe to even entertain the idea as he is married but as my own situation can attest to (and even that of my friend), you can be in a marriage and not be happy. My marriage has broken down beyond repair to the point I would only want contact because of the children. We will not be friends once we are divorced. However, my friend is on excellent terms with her soon to be ex-husband. They will for sure remain very good friends. Based on this, I know that things are not always clear cut black and white.

I am in the position that I now need to try and forget him in that context as I suspect he is not happy, but he has to get to that place on his own. At least I have the privilege of knowing him as he really is a good person. Plus point is, I know my heart is not yet turned to stone. I am not looking but I am open and after everything I am taking that as a win.