My Life’s Journey so far

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  • Signs

    Woke up so early again this morning. My dream woke me up I think. I was holding onto it to write it down but it slipped away. Although the detail has now gone, I remember it was again about the person I like. It was a good dream as I woke up feeling OK, not…

  • Last few weeks

    The last few weeks have been a bit strange.. I had decided to accept this ‘connection’ (for want of a better word) alone. Move on from it because it began to feel like it was going nowhere. Had a weird dream about a post on one pillar of social media, but I haven’t had a…

  • Sleep 😴

    Oh my goodness is my sleep messed up at the moment.. My brain will not switch off! Keep thinking about everything with this guy I like too much for my own good. At what point did he decide I wasn’t interested? Why do I see everyone around me being pursued hard and so much effort…

  • I don’t see a way back…

    Haven’t written for a while and I have realised so manybtjings in that time, or had things and thoughts further solidified. I hinestly do not see a way back from my situation. My view of people is changed to the point that if they turned around tomorrow and said ‘I see it all now. I…

  • Current Feelings

    In a word, angry. The urge to just open my mouth is overwhelming. Unfortunately it has triggered the urge to open my mouth about other things aswell which cannot happen 🤦🏻‍♀️ Problem is, the urge is strongest to say something to the person I like rather than about the person targeting me. I make vague…

  • It’s been quite a while…

    I haven’t written anything for a long time, and although I feel I really needed to I had zero motivation. Everything has been very up and down with regards to everything in my life. I still don’t even know how to articulate it all so this may just be a bit of a ramble. Training…

  • Training continues

    What a weekend of training it has been 🙂 Not as intense as previous sessions we have had but I have thoroughly enjoyed it. So many good things, and lots of things I know I need to work on. Some I managed to demonstrate improvement and some less so, but all still good. My patterns…

  • It’s Been a While…

    Almost a week since I have written anything down. I wanted to on Sunday gone but just couldn’t motivate myself. When you just feel overwhelmed with everything you want to say you just don’t know where to start. I have definitely realised that I have to change something with training. I cannot continue as I…

  • Realisations

    I had a conversation today which made me realise that I am waiting for things to improve at training, but they are never going to. In fact they are only going to get worse. The person in question is definitely comfortable being an absolute arse at training and is becoming less subtle and now trying…

  • 4 Days

    It has been 4 days since I have written anything down. Writing has helped so much that I have felt the difference with this 4 day gap. I have been training quite a lot, hard training which has been good. I even managed to punch an exceptional fighter right in the face over the weekend.…